I have seen the Roman verses used to support Calvinism. What is often overlooked is the phrase, "As it is WRITTEN". When were the statments written? The one about Jacob was written after his birth, referring to what God said after Jacob's birth. That He hates Esua was written about a thousnd years after the death of Esau in the book of Malachi.
As for our Muslim friend, the question is how high did God set the bar pertianing their salvation? What Baptists and others forget is that everyone before Christ that found salvation, did so without knowing the name of Jesus. Can a person today be saved without knowing the name of Jesus? I suspect yes. Would such a person just go on as before? No. With Christ in his life, there will be growth. The difference between those who have and have not heard the name of Jesus can be summed up with "To whom much is given, much is required".